Katherine,
What a lovely caring question you ask! You are right: Jesus told the Sadducees who asked him whose wife a woman would be who had married seven brothers, each one after the one before him had died. Jesus told them that they did not understand Scripture or the power of God. He said that when people rise from the dead they will neither marry nor be given in marriage but will live like the angels do - in unmarried status. (Matthew 22:23-32)
This is not something to be afraid of, because Jesus promises us that He has a wonderful place for us in heaven (John 14:2 - 3). He also promises that there will be no tears, death, mourning, or crying out in pain (Rev 21:4) in heaven. Heaven will be like nothing we have seen or heard before (1 Cor 2:9).
So, if I take all those promises and think about what that means for me, and I know that I don't want to forget my husband or have him forget me in eternity, and that I still want to love the spouse I so dearly love on earth, then I need to think deeper into what Jesus must really be saying to me. ...
First of all, I know that God IS love. In heaven I will be with God, in the presence of LOVE at all times. I know that God is relational and wants us all to love each other (remember the Golden Rule: Love one another as I have loved you (John 15:34) and that the 2nd greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself (Matt 22:37 - 39) ). So, I am guessing that God will bless us in our heavenly place by permitting us to mingle with and continue to love the people we already love.
Because no one has come back and explained the details of heaven I am guessing that if I apply what Jesus has said, I will recognize my beloved spouse in heaven. We will be happy to see each other and happy to be with each other, but we will have no need for the sexual intimacy we had on earth because the LOVE of God will be way more than sufficient to meet our intimacy needs. The lovemaking act will not be necessary. I would guess we would recognize each other as someone we dearly loved, and we will be very happy, and we will still be fabulous and close friends. But, friends in an even more special way than we were as spouses. I also think that our love for God will overshadow all other relationships and we won't have to worry about what our prior relationship was on earth.
I don't know how much I answered your question, but I do know that God always keeps God's promises and that heaven will be better than we can imagine! Hope this helps soothe your worries.
Remember: God knows everything. God knows more that we can even imagine with our human brains. God has it all figured out and God will take care of us!
