Jimmy: Your question is one which many people before you have asked throughout history! I have two thoughts on
an answer for you. I hope they help clear up your question:
1. Think of
the best parent who could ever exist. What would that parent look like? Loving? Just? Slow to anger? Someone who teaches his/her child how to live a Blessed life? ... Yes, all those things. ... but more. If you
misbehaved, a good parent would lovingly - note that word - LOVINGLY reprimand
you.
In the Old Testament, God - a truly loving Father demonstrated His great love
to His children:
* He gave Adam and Eve clothing when they chose to sin and
thus banned from the Garden of Eden.
* When Israel was in bondage to Egypt, He rescued them.
He even gave Egypt - the bad guys - 10 opportunities to do the right thing. Each
time Pharaoh hardened his heart. God tried to get Pharaoh's attention by
making each plague a little worse than the last. God even showed Pharaoh
that it was God's work by allowing the Israelites to be unaffected by the
plagues. Finally, God sent a plague which really caught Pharaoh's
attention - and even with the death of the firstborn sons Pharaoh changed his
mind about setting the people free. - Sometimes people can be really
hard-headed!
* Again we see God the Father's mercy in the time of the Judges. His children, the Israelites, would forget God; they
would sin. They would then find themselves serving an
oppressor because of that sin. They would appeal to the Lord in supplication.
God would send them a judge who would save them by leading them back onto the right path to God. (Remember Sampson? Gideon? Jepthah?
Deborah? They were some of the Judges.) Then things would become good
again and they would forget about their past trials and tribulations and go silent on
God ie: forget all about Him, stop praying, etc. And so they would begin again to
sin...and repeat the cycle. But God was always waiting for them to return to Him.
In each of these cases, the people CHOSE their actions. Adam and Eve chose to disobey God's command not to eat of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Pharaoh chose not to let the people go, even after it was clear that God was the one speaking through Moses & Aaron. And the Israelite people chose to fall into idol worship etc. during the times of the judges.
So, in essence, Adam & Eve chose the "mean" (to use your word) response from God. Pharaoh chose the "mean" response from God. And, the Israelites too chose their lot. The consequences were yucky.
But isn't that the way life is? Look at parents today; Don't they give many chances to their children to do the
right thing? But after maybe 3 warnings a good parent will then
punish a child. That's just a few wake-up calls or reminders to do what they've been instructed to do ... or else. God is the same way, only He is/was more
than patient! God is righteous. And righteousness demands that a punishment be given for disobedience. The consequences and the ugly "mean" things that came out of the actions of the people in the Old Testament were the result of their own choices. ... And
that's a hard pill to swallow.
Looking at what our due punishment actually is, we discover that the penalty for sin is DEATH. Eternal death. Spiritual death. Not being allowed to enter into the presence of our Almighty Father. Because that's what righteousness requires. God knew we couldn't meet the price of that penalty. We could never offer enough rams, or doves, or oxen to make atonement for our wrongs. No amount of human or animal lifeblood would even come close to being perfect. There was nothing we could do that is good enough to make things even enough to enter into the presence of HIs perfection.
So, our loving Father made that atonement for us. God sent part of Himself - the Son part - who is the SON - who is Perfection Incarnate (ie: in the flesh) to put things back into balance and give us the ability to enter the Throne Room of our Creator. Jesus offered himself, the PERFECT and unblemished Lamb of God, as the only offering worthy and acceptable to a Perfect God. That's not mean. That's the ultimate example of LOVE!
That brings me to the 2nd part of my thoughts:
2. I hear you saying that God is supposed to be a
LOVING God. What does that mean? If you mean that He shouldn't punish us, that's makes our relationship with God incomplete. Should I be allowed to do whatever I want - even if it hurts someone? what if that behavior hurts my Creator? - Consequences, good or bad ones, are a natural result of the choices we make.
If I answer yes, that I should be allowed to do whatever I want to do no matter what, then I'm being selfish and unrealistic. In our completely human relationships we don't tolerate that kind of behavior. We live in America, a free country. But if I were to travel at 60 miles an hour down main hill in Chicora, wouldn't I get a ticket from a cop who saw me? And, I might also crash into one of the buildings at the bottom of the hill. There would be a consequence (running into the building) and a penalty (a ticket from the police).
When I make bad choices, I am not the only one affected. And the consequences of those choices can ripple far beyond what I can see. Looking at it from an extreme case, those ripples may continue for years and years and affect others over those later years. Those affected may in turn respond to some of those affects by choosing to sin and so on and so on. One person's behavior could actually perpetuate the culture of sin. And so sin grows and mutates into worse and worse behaviors ...
So, if I want a perfect God, I should want a completely perfect God. A completely perfect God would demonstrate all the descriptors of a perfect parent in a flawless way - including the descriptor of 'providing correction to a wayward child in a loving way.' God is able to see the far reaching effects of our sin. Because He doesn't make us change our behaviors and stop them from happening is another demonstration of His love for us. He doesn't want robots or little dolls which he manipulates into doing what He desires for us. He wants us to come freely and completely openly to Him. That He doesn't stop the bad ripples from affecting us - sometimes many years after the sin - is a demonstration of His great love, not a demonstration of meanness.
Sometimes when God lovingly corrects us it hurts - sometimes really badly. And we don't like it. But we should remember that God has always proven that He is the God of 2nd, and 3rd, and 4th ... chances. And guess what? Just as He showed the Israelites in the time of the Judges that he doesn't turn away from them when they turn from Him, we can know that He doesn't turn away from us when we stray. He's there waiting for us, wishing for us to return, and holding out open arms towards us. He doesn't like it when we turn away from Him. It hurts Him. But He waits for us - always - and forever - hoping for us to get tired of living in our sin, to get tired of the consequences of it, and waiting for us to return to Him with the confidence of children who trust their parent.
What's really great about our God is that WHO HE IS is always more than we humans can comprehend. Even when we move in the direction of understanding, more questions pop to the forefront. I hope that my thoughts at least help you move forward on your thinking about this concern. And I assume you will have more questions. In the meantime, I hope it does serve to clear the issue up a little. Thanks.