I am confused. I was named after David in the Bible and was always proud of it. But now I discover that David was a murderer and an adulterer. I am thinking about going with my middle name no so that I won't be associated with that reputation. What do you think? - D

Dave,

You are right.  David from the Bible was a murderer and an adulterer.  But that's not all he was.  Let's look at the whole picture.  David was also chosen by God to lead His people.  He loved God and "the LORD" was "with him,"  (1 Sam 16:18).  David was a man who followed God. 

However, there came a time in his life when David became complacent.   It was during this time that he saw a woman and became lustful for her.  Instead of turning his head and heart from her, he took her, she became pregnant, and so he ended up having her husband murdered.  He then took her as his wife.  God knew of this and He had Samuel confront David about it.  David, being king could have had Samuel killed for confronting him, but David took the rebuke for what it was and he repented.  Still, he paid dearly for his actions.  The consequences of his sin rippled through the rest of his reigning years.  You can read about his sin in 2 Samuel 11 & 12. 

Even though David fell, should we condemn him?  Obviously the answer is a resounding, "NO!"  God didn't condemn him.  He forgave him when he repented.   God also forgives us when we repent.  But God doesn't take away the natural consequences of our sin.

That said, we need to remember that we humans don't see as God sees.  God looks at the heart.  David's heart was turned to God.  He strayed.  He returned.  We are the same.  We love God.  But we stray.  Hopefully we return. 

God's re-acceptance of David should reassure us - like the story of the prodigal son and the forgiving father in the New Testament.  We should be comforted that no matter how great our sin, we are embraced by God when we repent.  Most of us won't commit the sin of murder.  We won't commit adultery.  Those are some of the worst of the sins we could commit. They fall on the top ten list of BAD THINGS not to do.  But God sees all sin as repugnant.  We aren't to compare ourselves to others.  We are to use our perfect God as our measuring rod and understand that we never measure even close to His perfection. 

We can know through David's story that if God would accept someone who has committed the most heinous of actions back into His embrace, He will accept us, who also sin, back too.  Instead of looking at David as a let down, look at him as one who is like us, a sinner who loves God but strays.  Be encouraged because even though David failed miserably to the flesh, God used him to do great things.  Be happy that he found his way back to God and thus was deemed worthy to be listed as an ancestor of Jesus! 

As far as your name goes, try to emulate the good in this namesake of your and hope that you can love God so much that it can be said that 'the LORD is with you!'  Grasp the fact that David did great things for God and open yourself to Him, asking Him to use you to do great things too. 

Does forgiveness mean you have to have a relationship with the person that hurt you emotionally? Or is it possible to forgive them, still love them as a child of God, but not want to associate with them? I'm hung up on this as far as an adult relative (in mid-30s). I don't want to have a relationship with him because of one too many lies he told me. I told him this then he came back quoting Mother Teresa and how we are to forgive people.

What I have been able to discern is that forgiving and bringing someone back into my friendship/confidence is not what Jesus' commandment is.

When I say I can forgive, that means I won't use what you did to me against you in conversation or in other arguments with you.  In the meantime, I may still hurt.  My trust of you may have been broken.  That broken trust in you is a consequence due to the action which caused me to hurt.  

When Jesus forgave sinners he told them to "go and sin no more."  (John 8:11) People who could not follow his edicts - like the rich man who said he wanted to follow Jesus and asked Jesus what more he could do as he was already following the law  (Matt 19:21) and then couldn't do as Jesus said - those people who couldn't, or wouldn't, follow Jesus, Jesus did not chase down and beg to return to him.  

The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that in the Sermon on the Mount Jesus insists on a conversion of heart as well as a reconciling with one's brother ... (and that would mean any brother or sister in Christ) and a love of enemies. (CCC 2608).  

Not everyone is a brother (sister) in Christ.  Just who is a brother or sister?   Jesus said it himself;  "Whoever does the will of God is brother and sister and mother to me."  (Mark 3:35)     - Someone who is not following the will of God (ie: has a lifestyle of lying) yet 'quotes the Bible' (or Saints) to a follower of Christ is really just trying to manipulate a result. 

Also, we as Catholics know that in order for forgiveness to be obtained in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, true contrition "together with the resolution not to" do it again (CCC1451) is necessary.  A person who continues to do the same thing over and over - without trying to overcome it - is not showing true repentance.  Conversion has not occurred.

And ..."Absolution takes away sin, but it does not remedy all the disorders sin has caused." (CCC 1459)

In order for a reunion or a repairing of a relationship to occur, both sides need to do something.   One chooses to forgive.  The other sets things right and changes the hurtful behavior.    Without that change in behavior, that person is just spouting forth an empty set of words ... "I said I was sorry!"  

The Bible does not say we must make someone who hurt us our best friend, our confidante, or even bring that person back to his/her former status.  My goodness, Paul said in 1 Cor 5 to the Corinthian community that the person who was sinning by living with his father's wife should be expelled from the midst of the believers.  There was no repentance there!  

Is the person who is touting "bring me into your confidence," "trust me," really a ‘brother’ ('sister')?   Is true contrition being shown?  Is the natural consequence of the sin against you one which makes you leery of being near that person?  ie:  Does trust need to be re-built?  Trust building takes a long time.  When the sin is great, it may take longer to rebuild trust.  We are called to be discerning.  When the trust is rebuilt, then the other questions about renewing the relationship can be revisited and discerned anew.  In the meantime, remember that people can say anything they want, but just because they say it doesn't make it true.  He can tell you he's a zebra, but until the spots change and turn into stripes, he's going to have a hard time convincing anyone that he's not still a leopard.

Hope these thoughts helped!  Thoughts from anyone else?