Is it ok to go to parties where there will be beer and stuff going on as long as I don't drink or do those things? - 10th grader

     I hear you loud and clear!  I wasn't allowed to go to those parties when I was your age either.  I didn't understand it then, but now that I'm a mother, I have a different view of it.  I'd like you to think about this question:  Why do you want to go to such parties in the first place?   If  underage drinking and 'stuff' is happening and you're not joining in, how much fun would you really have anyway?  Simply going to socialize isn't such a good answer.  There are many other fun things you could do to socialize with your friends.  And, think about what would happen when you got to that party.  Those friends, and others who see you not participating in the drinking and stuff will get a kick out of teasing you about not doing it, and most likely try to convince you to just try a little of it.  They may even make bets as to who can get you to do it.  The pressure to participate will be extremely strong.
     Although I know you want to hear that I think it's alright for you to go, what you are describing in your question is not only something that a mom doesn't want for her kid, it's illegal for people your age.  And, it is also what we call in Catholic theology an occasion of sin.  An occasion of sin is " 'any person, place, or thing that of its nature or because of human frailty can lead one to do wrong, thereby committing sin.'  We have a moral obligation to avoid occasions of sin because of what they can lead us to.                     
     "If you go to wild parties like the ones you describe, you are putting yourself at risk of joining in the bad, sinful (and illegal) behaviors that are taking place.   Even if you don't actually fall into sin, you are still silently supporting and giving approval to sin just by being there. ...
     "When faced with an occasion of sin, always pray to get yourself out of the situation.  Just as in the Lord's Prayer we ask the Father 'lead us not into temptation,' we must always be on guard against those things that can lead us into danger."
     You have your entire adult life to drink.  Enjoy being a teenager and do the things teens do.  Invite your friends to go bowling, or play laser tag, or have a movie night, or walk the mall or have a game night.  Do with them whatever it is teens like to do these days!  By choosing now to do what is Godly and good for your soul, you will be building character and gaining the strength you will need after high school to discern between those things which will enhance your dignity or not.  
     Don't allow others to cause you (or lead you) to sin.  To help you make these often difficult, but better, choices, be sure to frequent the sacraments.  Reconciliation and Eucharist especially "provide us the necessary graces for strengthening our resolve to do what is good and avoid what is evil."

Thanks for the thoughtful question.  I will pray for you!!