Monday, June 16, 2014

Faith News: How one woman is coping with adult bullying!

Sadly, the problem of bullying doesn’t stop when we leave grade school – or even when we graduate from high school.  There are some adults in their middle ages, and even some in the over-the-hill-ages, who get their way by being aggressive and mean.  They went from being little kids who bullied others to being little kids in grownup bodies who still bully others.   And that stinks because being bullied hurts no matter what age we (or the bully) are.  A recent article In the Our Sunday Visitor (OSV) made me stop and ponder this issue a little more:  

The June 15th edition of the OSV told the story of an engaging woman who has figured out a way to combat the bullying she still experiences as an adult.  Lizzy Velasquez of Austin, Texas suffers from an unidentified syndrome that only two other people in the world are known to have.  She can’t gain weight. - I know, it sounds like a dream to us who have tried every way we can think of to lose some body fat.  However, she has never weighed over 62 pounds in her life. And she’s 25!  

When she was 17 she discovered that someone had made an eight-second video about her that went viral.  Over 4,000,000 people viewed it and thousands of them made mean and hateful comments.   They said things like she was the “ugliest woman in the world.”  She was a “monster.”  She “should do the world a favor and kill” herself.  It broke her heart and her spirit.  

However, this wasn’t new to her.  It's been happening since she was a little kid. She tells of her experience on the first day of kindergarten:  She smiled at another little girl and that little girl was terrified.  She reacted in a way that totally confounded Lizzie.  Throughout her entire life tons of kids have bullied her and many strangers have stared at her. 

How did all that make her feel?  She wanted to fight back.  She wanted to make those people hurt like she did.  But, she realized that she had a choice to make.  She says,  “I started realizing that my life was in my hands, … I could either choose to make this really good, or I could choose to make this really bad.   I could be grateful and open my eyes and realize the good things that I do have and make that what defines me.”  (OSV June 15, 2014 p 15)
  
Lizzie found support through her strong Catholic roots which include her parents and extended family.  And she realized that she could use 
use the pain she felt from the bullying to triumph over it.  She decided she would do something big for herself.  She made it her goal to graduate from college and write books.  

And guess what?  At the age of 25 she's already surpassed those dreams. Her third book is to be released late this summer!  Her topics?  Her inspirational journey, finding the beauty within, and choosing to be happy.  She has been such an encouragement to others that she has been invited to speak out against bullying and share her story by many groups.  She’s also been interviewed for the news, talk shows, and print media.  She has her own website (aboutlizzie.com), and is in the process of making a documentary about her life. 

At the apex of her message is faith.  Lizzie realizes that God is with her through all her pain and through all her successes.  She says, “God knew what He was doing when He made every one of us very different and unique.  … If we were all the same it wouldn’t be exciting.  We have something to look forward to in bringing our different personalities to the table.”

Lizzie's current goals, and perhaps her life's purpose, is to use her experiences to let people know how hurtful bullying is and to make social media a safer place to be.  She doesn’t want to lower herself to the mindset of all those people who have bullied and hurt her; she chooses to take the higher road of being kind.  She lives what she preaches by acting in ways that show others how to make a difference by being a positive and Christ-like example to the world.  (Our Sunday Visitor, Volume 103, No 7,  June 15, 201,   “Incredible strength at only 58 pounds”  by Maryann Gogniat Eidemiller, p 14-15)

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